Re-Release [Top Giver Series] Beyond Giftology: The Art and Science of Gifting With John Ruhlin

John Ruhlin (1980–2024) was an American entrepreneur, speaker, and author best known for pioneering the concept of strategic gifting in business. He founded The Ruhlin Group, a firm specializing in personalized corporate gift strategies, and authored the best-selling book Giftology, which emphasizes the power of generosity to build lasting relationships. John began his career as a top sales representative for Cutco Cutlery, where he developed innovative approaches to client engagement. He passed away suddenly in August 2024 at 44, leaving a legacy of kindness and a transformative approach to business relationships.​

Here’s a glimpse of what you’ll learn:

• [2:52] John Ruhlin discusses how his daughter describes his work as helping people love on people
• [6:02] Growing up as one of six kids on a 50-acre farm in a 500-person town
• [9:41] Why John initially pursued pre-med and how he pivoted to sales
• [12:41] Lessons from selling Cutco knives face-to-face and learning empathy in sales
• [17:08] How targeting business owners instead of consumers transformed his career
• [20:04] The 7-year journey to landing the Chicago Cubs as a client
• [24:38] Gifting strategies for executive assistants and inner circle relationships
• [28:46] Custom gift that secured a meeting with Target’s electronics division
• [31:20] John shares common mistakes companies make when giving corporate gifts
• [38:08] Creative strategies for repeat gift recipients in long-term campaigns
• [42:25] When gifts backfired — and how to handle gift rejection gracefully
• [54:29] Surviving a major personal and financial low point and bouncing back

In this episode…

Standing out in business is more challenging than ever. With overflowing inboxes, advertising fatigue, and increasingly transactional relationships, how can you break through the noise and cultivate genuine, lasting connections with clients and partners?

John Ruhlin, author and expert on strategic gifting, shares how intentional, personalized gift-giving can become a powerful business development tool. He explains that gifting is often done wrong — too promotional, poorly timed, or lacking personal relevance. He offers actionable strategies, like making the gift about the recipient (not your brand), targeting the recipient’s inner circle, and sending gifts during off-peak times to avoid holiday clutter. John also emphasizes using thoughtful research to personalize gifts and create memorable touchpoints that turn business relationships into emotional connections.

In this episode of the Inspired Insider Podcast, Dr. Jeremy Weisz interviews John Ruhlin, Founder of The Ruhlin Group, about the art and science of strategic gifting. John shares how meaningful gifting builds loyalty and generates referrals. He also discusses why timing matters more than cost, how to win over executive gatekeepers, and what happens when a gift goes hilariously wrong.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• John Ruhlin: Website | LinkedIn
• Giftology Group
• Ruhlin Group
• Giftology: The Art and Science of Using Gifts to Cut Through the Noise, Increase Referrals, and Strengthen Retention by John Ruhlin
• Beyond Giftology: Earn Endless Word of Mouth with a System That Turns Relationships Into Referral Partners by John Ruhlin

Related episode(s):

• “[Top Giver Series] The Art and Science of Gifting with John Ruhlin Author of Giftology” on the Inspired Insider Podcast
• “P90X: Earning Food & Rent Money as a Mime to over $500 million in Sales- with Tony Horton [Business Inspiration]” on the Inspired Insider Podcast
• “Atari & Chuck E. Cheese Founder Nolan Bushnell Opens up about Low times and Proud Moments” on the Inspired Insider Podcast

Quotable Moments:

• “You don’t really know what you do unless you can explain it to a sixth grader.”
• “Generosity is a secret weapon in business; it transforms relationships from transactional to transformational.”
• “You can’t handle an objection that isn’t said — objections are good; that means they’re being honest.”
• “Most people don’t realize that people make decisions based upon how they feel in business.”
• “We gift things in business that we’d never do personally, making it about us instead of the recipient.”

Action Steps:

1. Personalize every client gift with their name, not your logo: Making the gift about the recipient creates emotional resonance and ensures it gets remembered.
2. Include the recipient’s inner circle in your gifting strategy: Acknowledging spouses, assistants, or family members creates ripple effects of goodwill and deepens loyalty.
3. Avoid sending gifts during the holidays: Strategic timing ensures your gesture gets the attention it deserves when others aren’t bombarding recipients.
4. Send gifts that last and provide daily utility: Tangible, long-lasting gifts generate frequent reminders of your brand through consistent daily use.
5. Research before gifting to show you truly know the recipient: Thoughtful customization demonstrates care and builds a deeper, more personal connection.

Episode Transcript

Intro: 00:00

You are listening to Inspired Insider with your host, Doctor Jeremy Weisz.

Dr. Jeremy Weisz: 00:22

Jeremy Weisz here. This is a special episode of Inspired Insider. It’s special because it’s about and with my friend John Ruhlin. Unfortunately, John Ruhlin passed away unexpectedly in August of 2024. He left behind his wife and four daughters. So just to honor him and his actually his new book, which I’ll talk about in a second, we did an episode, the Art and Science of Gifting, and this is a rerelease from when we originally did the interview. And before his passing, John was actually working on his most important book called Beyond Giftology. You can check it out on beyondgiftology.com and also on Amazon. It reveals his complete referral Partner training system, which is a framework that transforms how businesses generate referrals by creating relationships. Snowballs. John was an absolute master at this, and I’ve had the pleasure of hanging out with him and knowing him for many years. And the world is going to miss him greatly. So check this episode out. Doctor Jeremy Weiss here. I’m founder of inspired Insider.com, where I talk with inspirational entrepreneurs and leaders like the founders of P90x, Atari, many more, and how they overcome big challenges in life and business. Today we have one of my favorite people. John Ruhlin. He is number one all time distributor of Cutco knives in the 65 plus year history of the company. Very important. He’s the author of Giftology The Art and Science of Using Gifts to Cut Through The Noise, Increase Referrals, and Strengthen Retention. John, of course I’m going to read the Subheadline because you spent probably hours and hours crafting that. He’s the master gift giver who forges lifetime relationships while generating huge returns for his clients, who some of you have heard of Chicago Cubs, Orlando Magic, Chicago Bears, top entrepreneurs like Darren Hardy, Cameron Harold and many more. And the true essence of John Ruhlin can be summed up by a quote from a very important person, John. And this person said, John Ruhlin helps people love on people. So, John, thanks for joining me.

John Ruhlin: 02:42

Oh, man. You’re going to go right to the heart and the core of me with that, with that quote, man. So who is.

Dr. Jeremy Weisz: 02:48

Important person that I’m talking about?

John Ruhlin: 02:52

I have three daughters under five and my oldest is Reagan, and that’s how she describes it when she talks about what her dad does. We talk a lot about solving problems.

Dr. Jeremy Weisz: 03:03

And how did that come up?

John Ruhlin: 03:05

I think I, I asked her like, so what does dad do? You know, every day.

Dr. Jeremy Weisz: 03:10

And it’s a good question.

John Ruhlin: 03:12

Yeah.

Dr. Jeremy Weisz: 03:13

How old is. How old’s the oldest? Five. Five. Okay.

John Ruhlin: 03:16

Yeah. And you know, you always hear, like, you don’t really know what you do unless you can explain it to, you know, a sixth grader. And so I’m like, well, I wonder if I could explain what I do so that a, you know, a five year old could understand. So we have conversations about what dad does with gifting and helping solving problems. And that’s how you make money. You solve problems. And so my daughter like is now coming home saying, hey dad, I solved a problem today. And which is, you know, really, really give me.

Dr. Jeremy Weisz: 03:42

Is she asking me for money?

John Ruhlin: 03:44

Yeah. Yeah. She’s like, you know, she’s, you know, sees something on TV. And so she now understands that you don’t just get money like you. You earn money through solving problems and people pay you. Sometimes they pay you, sometimes they don’t. And so I asked her one time, like, you know, after explaining it a number of times what his dad do. And she’s like, you know, dad, you help people love on people. And I’m like, man, if that’s.

Dr. Jeremy Weisz: 04:06

Why that should be the subheadline of somewhere on your website. I mean, don’t you agree?

John Ruhlin: 04:13

Yeah. Yeah, I’ve thought about putting it on there, although I have, depending upon who you’re talking to. Like I tell people like love well or I help people love on their most important relationships. Like, you know, never before, as have been people have been more comfortable using the word love in business. But there is like still a weird, like, it sounds a little warm.

Dr. Jeremy Weisz: 04:32

And.

John Ruhlin: 04:33

A little too warm and fuzzy. Like, is this for real? Is there like this? Is this like a cult? Like. And so, like, I probably will incorporate it somehow. I do definitely, when I speak. I don’t know if that’s how you.

Dr. Jeremy Weisz: 04:46

If it’s prefaced with my daughter said, you know, if it just says John Ruhlin Rowland helps people love on people. It sounds weird, but I feel like my five year old daughter described me as I help people love on people, you know? Yeah, that would put it in context. The context.

John Ruhlin: 05:01

Yeah, yeah. No, that makes that that makes total sense. So I, I probably yeah I definitely used it verbally but I haven’t, I haven’t put it on any websites or anything anywhere. But it still warms my heart when I hear it.

Dr. Jeremy Weisz: 05:12

I love it and it really does sum up what you do and people should check out, you know, Giftology I had the opportunity to read it. It’s fantastic. And you know, I always like to go to. Fun fact, John, we’re going to get into a lot of great stories that you have. And fun fact there’s a few. One is your mom and wife’s mother are one of 13 kids, and you have 65 first cousins on one side. And another fun fact is, you almost died proposing to your wife, which I don’t even know if we’re going to talk about that. maybe, maybe if people listen to that and maybe we’ll talk about it, maybe not. But the other one is you grew up one of six kids. So big families. What was it like growing up? One of six kids.

John Ruhlin: 06:02

Well, like anybody, like, no matter how you grow up, you don’t really know any different. So it just kind of seemed like the normal thing. We grew up out in the middle of nowhere, 500 person town, 50 acres. And so you’re.

Dr. Jeremy Weisz: 06:13

Like 10% of the town. You’re just.

John Ruhlin: 06:15

Yeah, yeah, just our families, like 10%.

Dr. Jeremy Weisz: 06:17

So what? Where are you in that birth order?

John Ruhlin: 06:20

I’m. Well, it’s a blended family, so I have half-brothers, stepbrothers, you know, full sister. Yeah, but we were very tight family, and I was like, I was second oldest, but I probably in many ways, because of family dynamics, I was more like the oldest, even though I had a four year old brother. But we worked. I mean, you want to talk about work ethic and hustle, like.

Dr. Jeremy Weisz: 06:39

What was it like?

John Ruhlin: 06:40

Well, I grew up every. I woke up every morning and milked goats like, literally like milked by hand. Like, not with a machine. Like we milked goats every morning. We had a one acre garden, which, like most people are like one acres is a lot to mow. If you’ve ever hoed a garden or hoed anything. Yeah, I know, like I have blisters and like, you know, like weeding for like, hours and, you know, like in the middle of the summer, like in the Midwest. Like, it gets kind of hot and humid and like, yeah, we heated our whole house with wood. So, like, literally like, not like, hey, we have a decorative fireplace. Like, we had a wood stove in the basement that when it went out, like you’d wake up in the morning and the house would be cold. As you know, I don’t want to use the words. Yeah. And it was, it was, it was. I mean, not that we like we weren’t slaves, but we like we learned that, like, if you wanted to be a part of this family, like, you have to contribute, right? And like, there’s no like, you know, like when you have animals, you don’t take the day off like the animals need to eat and the animals like, if the water is frozen, you got to go break the ice.

Dr. Jeremy Weisz: 07:43

And I’m curious about that. Growing up in that household, what’s discipline like? Is it just expected or was it very strict?

John Ruhlin: 07:52

I mean, there was I would say at some level my mom was, you know, she grew up one of 13. So she understood pecking order and making sure that things were dialed in. Like anytime you take six kids anywhere, like I take three now and it’s like it’s a madhouse. And so like, yeah, it was one. You didn’t leave the house very often, but if you did, you were expect like if you got the look like you knew you were going to get in trouble at home kind of thing. Like there’s, there was definitely like it wasn’t you’re in time out. It was like you’re going to get paddled when you get home.

Dr. Jeremy Weisz: 08:23

If.

John Ruhlin: 08:23

You, if you step out of line. So like but my mom was she’s great. I mean she, she was.

Dr. Jeremy Weisz: 08:30

I could see if you can stick out among six kids and learn probably learn from your mom. It was one of 13. It’s like almost in your nature to try and stick out and like the, the, the, you know, the ruling group.com. What I noticed is the subheadline is obviously. Do you want to stand out? Do you struggle to stand out? And that’s a big thing about Giftology.

John Ruhlin: 08:52

Yeah, it’s all about standing out. I think that that you can stand out in a negative way. And I chose to be the overachiever and try to stand out in a positive way. So like I was even though an entrepreneur, I’m also like, I got straight A’s from kindergarten through 12th grade. Like I was like I was a hustler. I was like, if I was going to do it, I liked I think I liked the praise. And so, like, I’m somebody that love language is words of affirmation. So I sort that out. And so I stepped out of line occasionally, but in general, like I was, I wanted positive feedback, not negative.

Dr. Jeremy Weisz: 09:25

Yeah. And we’re going to get into the stories because, you know, one thing about reading your book, John, is my creative juices get flowing. So I love hearing the creativity and the things that you help people do and that you do yourself. But I’m curious, from early on, when you were growing up, what did you want to be when you grew up?

John Ruhlin: 09:41

I didn’t want to work with my hands, so I wanted to.

Dr. Jeremy Weisz: 09:44

You’re like the opposite of all the blisters I got.

John Ruhlin: 09:48

Yeah. Like, if it if it involves, like, not having to sweat my butt off baling hay and feeding the animals every day.

Dr. Jeremy Weisz: 09:55

It’s a good lesson to learn, though.

John Ruhlin: 09:56

Yeah. No. So I with grades and being poor, like I thought it’d go be a doctor. My mom was into health and wellness. She was like having bread shipped in from, like, Stan Evans. Like whole wheat bread. We had whole wheat buckwheat pancakes. She was bringing in nature sunshine. So I was going to go be a doctor or a chiropractor or something in that category to like one, make more money, one work with my head and not my hands. And two, make my mom, you know, three make my mom proud. And so that’s I was pre-med going into to college. Yeah.

Dr. Jeremy Weisz: 10:29

And then something happened.

John Ruhlin: 10:31

Yeah.

Dr. Jeremy Weisz: 10:32

Well, you saw you one of your friends doing really well.

John Ruhlin: 10:34

Yeah. Well, one, I had started a business working with my hands, but I was making 40, $50 an hour. That was the cable company. Me. And so I fell off the ladder two different times. Got lucky, didn’t get hurt. I landed in mulch. I’m like, you know, I’m a person of faith. And so I’m like, God’s trying to show me something. You’re like, this is like John. You’re like, you’re never going to make it through school. So yeah, buddy of mine was one buddy had put himself through school selling knives, and I thought it was the weirdest thing ever. And then another buddy from college who I went to high school with was the most anti sales person on the planet. He was a seminary major. Like, you know, he’s going to go do youth ministry and he started selling. I’m like he couldn’t sell ice to an he couldn’t sell like you know water to a person on fire. Like there’s no like this is not. And his name’s Steve Wiggers. He’s an amazing human being. But when he started to sell it and actually sold it, I was like, it was like this weird, like this. Just like I’m in another world, like, this doesn’t even like this. Can’t.

Dr. Jeremy Weisz: 11:34

How was that? Did you ask him? Like, how did he sell?

John Ruhlin: 11:38

Well, I did, and he’s like, people I showed. I follow the program, I meet with people.

Dr. Jeremy Weisz: 11:43

He just sticks to the program.

John Ruhlin: 11:45

He stuck to the program, he did the appointments. He was. And I think, you know, he came from an affluent background. His family was successful and he was seeing successful people. And he’s a super nice guy. He was well known in the community. And so I think that the odds were in his favor from a family perspective. But it still like boggled my mind. But after like a couple weeks of hearing him come home with like $1,000 knife sales, I’m like, if he can do it, I can try. So I’m like, so I committed to give it six weeks. That’s kind of the bottom line is I, you know, I wore my glasses look smarter. I wore my one tie and went in for the interview. And I’m like, here goes. Nothing like, you know, even though my mom thought I was crazy, she, you know, and she’s like, none of our friends can afford this cutlery. I said, what, you know, what the heck?

Dr. Jeremy Weisz: 12:28

What was the biggest learning you had from going through the training? And because doing face-to-face sales is not easy, but you learn a lot. So I’m curious. Yeah. What did you learn from that?

John Ruhlin: 12:41

Well, I think you learn how to make people feel comfortable. I think a lot of times in sales, like you, you know, you’re in a lot of situations with a lot of different personalities. And I think that one of my skill sets, even though I never considered myself really a sales person, is understanding, being able to empathize and being able to make somebody feel comfortable. Yeah. And I think that when you’re sitting in somebody’s kitchen table and they’ve never met you before, and their kids are there and it’s late at night and they just really want to go to bed, and they set this appointment. Like, you learn how to make, you know, you learn how to have fun. You learn how to handle objections in a way that doesn’t make them feel pressured. And so I brought coloring books. I brought food to chop up. I brought dessert to have I cooked people dinner. I made it like fun and lively. And because of that, I think that people really appreciated that, that element of it.

Dr. Jeremy Weisz: 13:32

I think you mentioned something really important, which is objections, right? Even in our day-to-day lives right now, we have to overcome objections. What was one thing that you found worked really well? Because it’s not like you’re a high-pressure, pushy person. So I’m curious from your standpoint, what worked well with overcoming objections for you?

John Ruhlin: 13:51

Well, I think that understanding that you can’t handle an objection that isn’t said. And I think a lot of times people get, you know, somebody that’s not experienced in sales was like as soon as they hear an objection, they think that’s a bad thing. And really what they’re doing, like when they’re actually helping you by sharing what’s really in their heart and mind. So they’re really saying like that. Everybody has that, like what’s going on in their head and most people don’t share it. And so I think understanding that objections are good, that means that they’re being honest with you. That means that they’re actually sharing. And I can handle I could handle any objection that got brought up. And sometimes it was it was this isn’t a fit for you. Like, if you can’t if you can’t put food on the table, you shouldn’t be buying high-end knives, right? Like, even if you want to buy them, like, it would be stupid for you, like, go like. But I think because we qualified our leads really well and because I had fun with people and I was able to handle the objections no matter what came up, I was able to handle things. We sold nine out of every ten people that we sat in front of.

Dr. Jeremy Weisz: 14:53

Wow.

John Ruhlin: 14:55

Before I even got into the business side of selling to companies. Yeah, because we qualified people, we had fun. We did our homework. You know, you’re good at you understand that a lot of the interview takes place, you know, days or weeks ahead of you. You had to be prepared. And so when I went into most situations, I knew what they liked. I knew what their kids names were. I brought over coloring books. I knew that they liked nice things. I knew that they entertained all the time so I could go in and talk specifically to them, and they’re like, wow, I had no interest in knives. And all of a sudden now, like, I don’t understand how I lived without these knives, like, like an hour later or two hours later. and not in a sleazy like, you know, like Boiler Room kind of kind of way. Like I’m sitting the same way I was with you, like, I’m having dinner, right? We’re talking we’re talking about 90% of things aren’t even knife related. But when we do talk, like, yeah, yeah, we were able to handle those.

Dr. Jeremy Weisz: 15:51

Yeah, I mean that that’s a good one. You know, bring up objections or like overcoming objections, but like you said, actually bringing up objections that they may be thinking that they’re not going to say because most people aren’t going to say them. And that’s important too. When did you transition, John, from, okay, most people are going, you know, into people’s homes and you had a realization of going to companies.

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