Jeremy Weisz
it was so sorry.
Deirdre Breakenridge
Yeah, thank you. I step back, we all find our path to grieving. And as part of my path, I realized there were so many questions that I had about millennials. And the way that they were communicating and showing up and I couldn’t ask No, well, so I started a passion project. And I didn’t even know it was going to turn into a research study a test online, and the backbone to everything that I do now. So I started asking millennials, over 100 of them, how do you show up to your conversations? Are you being authentic? How do you want to be perceived what builds trust and relationships, and basically, same questions, got a whole bunch of data, I started to record it. When I stepped back. They shared a model with me, they basically said, We want people around us interactions, communication from leaders and people we look up to be open and inclusive, face your fears. We want empathy, we want understanding and kindness. We want ethics and good judgment. And we want love, love and passion and excitement about causes, you know, social causes. And as a result, even though it was millennial sharing this, I thought, this is human. And it formed a model called feel. And it’s exactly what it spells, face your fears, engage with empathy, use ethics, or live with ethics, and unleash your love. And then I thought, well, how can you use this as a professional as a communicator? How do you even know how much you feel? And that’s why my team and I created the test. And the test is almost like putting you in scenarios. 32 questions, eight questions for each part of the model? It scores you. And it recommends exercises. And I am just so curious to hear how you did? Yeah, I
Jeremy Weisz
took it. Yeah, um, when you first started on that journey, talking to millennials, did you have? Did you have something some goal in mind of what you want to figure out? Or some hypothesis or were you just seeing where it went?
Deirdre Breakenridge
I literally just felt this need to talk to you it was younger millennial. So Noel was 24, when she passed away. So I started with the 24, the 25, the 22nd. And then it got to, you know, the older end of the spectrum, I don’t really think I did it with any kind of intent other than just to want to understand what people are going through how they’re feeling what they’re thinking. And I guess I did a I had a concern, as much as I share what how great it is to be on social media, and all that you can do for your brand. I was realizing that this highlight reel and also some of the stories that they were sharing, were not true to who they were and all the smiling pictures and the hugs and the happiness. And look how great everything is. It wasn’t so great.
Jeremy Weisz
Yeah, I mean, I just recently watched the social dilemma, which you know, watch that. Oh, my God, you will. You’ll love it and hated at the same time. But yeah, it’s it’s powerful. But it talks about some of those things. And it’s from the people who created these tools. Right. And then talking about the some of the negative impacts of social media. Right, yeah. So you created this feel test. So I, I had a question about one of the http://rxreviewz.com questions actually, because there’s those I love how the test is everyone should check it out. You can go to feelfirsttest.com check it out. Take it for yourself. It’s completely free. You can go and do it. Um, one of the questions that I that struck me was when someone shares challenging situations, you share challenging situations, or I’ll have you do the exact question, but I was wondering where that came from. I’m thinking should I be sharing challenging situations, someone, someone else shares, challenging situations, maybe I’m going about this all wrong. So then maybe rethink a few things. So why don’t you explain
Deirdre Breakenridge
I don’t want to give it away. But let’s break it down. When somebody comes to you, and they’re sharing a situation. What’s what, what’s the natural inclination, it might be to say, Oh, my gosh, that happened to me. But in essence, it’s really should be to just sit, listen, and listen and just listen some more and to ask questions about that situation. Yeah, so,
Jeremy Weisz
so maybe better. You know, I feel like maybe as a human, we all automatically want to relate to someone and tell them like I feel what you felt or whatever it is, but but maybe that’s not the best instant reaction at all is to just kind of let them talk, listen, and just have them be the center as opposed to, you know, because then when you say you share your own, then you become the center, I guess, as opposed to, though,
Deirdre Breakenridge
exactly. And then yes, because if you really want to help somebody, then you’ll just let them go on and share and share some more. And then it’s a decision like I usually what I’ve learned through trauma, and what happens. And now when I look at other situations, when somebody comes to me, because I naturally would jump in and say, Oh, my gosh, yes, I understand. I’ve had this happen. But now I realize that it’s just to listen, even in an email, even when somebody shares something in an email, I refrain from stating anything that’s going on. I recognize I asked more questions, let them come back. And I find that people appreciate it, they do.
Jeremy Weisz
How is the feel first test in the research, you did change what you do now.
Deirdre Breakenridge
So that’s why I love this because I had no idea it would change my thinking or process or the way that I work with clients, or just the way that I show up. So what it ends up doing, especially as a communicator, when you focus on the art and the science and creating stories and things to share and your messaging, you are really very much focused on your talking points and how you show up, and all the parts that get you to an engagement, and interaction. And I think we’re all really good and skill that getting to the engagement. And when I say engagement, it could be meeting somebody in a social media community, it could be just a one off, it could be you’re a brand, you’re selling a product, and it’s a simple transaction. But when you want to get to loyalty, advocacy, trust and real impact, what are you going to do in a relationship you are going to feel and when you apply a feel lens at your point of engagement, at any point, you have a better chance of deepening that relationship. So that means for me when I do media training, I’m telling executives, okay, yes, there are certain things that you need to say about your brands, about your thought leadership, about your companies, and you’re going to show up with your executive presence. However, you’re gonna apply feel, so that you deepen a relationship with the media with their audience, and there’s a process to add that feelings and to be more present and aware, and recognizing what’s going on with the person who’s even interviewing you.
Jeremy Weisz
You give me an example of maybe someone who said, Thank you, Deirdre I used this. And I would have responded this way to something. But now I responded this way to something based on, you know, facing your fears that empathy ethics, what would be an example of? Shall we kind of bring it to life a little bit?
Deirdre Breakenridge
Yeah, I think that the the very first part of the model is so important for executives, and I’ll share recently about an executive that I work with. So the face fears is, we all have egos, right, everybody has an ego. And when you work your way up the chain, you have to have a certain ego to get there, right. However, that can be limiting. Because when you let your ego drive you, you miss an opportunity to really understand what somebody is sharing with you, and where it comes from. And it’s not always a place of I’m trying to cut you down, it could be a place of this is really good feedback. And I’m trying to help. So what I tell I work with different executives, and one of my executives had shared something recently, and it was a part of her thought leadership. And basically, she got some feedback that may have normally caused a knee jerk reaction. But when you use a FEEL approach, you can step back and question why somebody might say that, what is their frame of reference? Where might they have gotten this from? What do they believe around this area so that you’re not knee jerking, so that you’re not bashing heads with anybody look at how polarized we are on different topics out there on social media or even in our group interactions. So she looks like
Jeremy Weisz
an understatement. Exactly,
Deirdre Breakenridge
clearly said that I when when the feedback came in, rather than having the negative reaction, it was thank you for your perspective and tell me more. So I think that’s really important when you’re an executive today. You don’t want to put people around you who are going to be Yes, yes, yes. And yes. And you do everything right. And let’s always go this way. You want to have people who give open a diverse perspective? Because I mean, one of the things I learned in my own millennial study was, the more you can be diverse and open, you’re going to get innovation, because you’re going to tap into new ways of looking at things. Yeah, that’s,
Jeremy Weisz
yeah, when I, when I talked to my business partner, John Corcoran, he says, you know, he’s better at this than I am. But he’ll say all feedback is good feedback. You know, like, whatever feedback is coming in, just take it in. And, you know, whatever it is, it’s coming from someplace, right?
Deirdre Breakenridge
It does. I mean, I share this story every so often. So you mentioned that I’m a LinkedIn learning instructor. And I have all different courses on public relations and marketing. And people all the time, because I’m on LinkedIn. And that’s a big platform for me, they share their thoughts on on my videos. And I had one student come into my, you know, inbox, and basically say, you know, I didn’t like you the way you were using your hands. It bothered me. And, you know, anybody could have a knee jerk and it. Can you take that personally? Oh, absolutely. But what did I do? I actually said, Thank you. I’m going to go back and look at my hands during that segment that you mentioned, just to see what it was that you’re talking about. And that helped me when I could change. You’re not? Maybe, maybe not. But thank you, thank you for sharing that. Otherwise, I never would have known.
Jeremy Weisz
You talk about to being a relationship agent, which is important to people what that is, and how, you know, people can maybe utilize that,
Deirdre Breakenridge
right? So there’s such a big difference between somebody who is building relationships and networking, and somebody who’s a chief relationship agent. So what I like to do, and this comes directly, so I’m a podcaster too the show is called Women Worldwide. And I’ve been doing you’re
Jeremy Weisz
watching the video look behind her her left shoulder left if it’s flipped, but Women Worldwide? Yes,
Deirdre Breakenridge
yeah. So I have a podcast called Women Worldwide, and not my day job, just something that I love. Because remember how you said more women leaders? Well, it’s about lifting up women, giving them a voice in a platform. So being a chief relationship agent means taking that network of women and making connections so they can do great work together. And I do this, there’s a few ways that you can do it. So yes, I have people who come there on my show, and I form relationships, but I bring them into the network. And I actually created a mastermind group with some of my guests. And it was completely once again, an experiment. I didn’t know anything would come out of it. But this mastermind group, now I’m watching these women in the group and it’s free, I did it not, I don’t charge. It’s so that they can get speaking engagements from one another. They can get media from one another. They can do business together. And that’s being a relationship agent. And I always say if you’re in my network, I am happy to introduce you to somebody because I know you’re going to do great things together.
Jeremy Weisz
Yeah, I want to get into a specific interesting case story. But before I do, so I scored a 130 out of 160. So I don’t know where that that or bad but um,
Deirdre Breakenridge
oh, that’s very, almost thinking you might be either you’re either expert or mastery.
Jeremy Weisz
Hmm. I’ll take that. Plenty that
Deirdre Breakenridge
that is really good. I have professionals in my own industry, saying someone who is really good in the area of face fears, but apparently I suck. So you just you never know how you’re going to score.
Jeremy Weisz
Yeah, so I thought that question. I mean, I took it as there were several questions of like, okay, it made me rethink maybe how I do things. And okay, well, this question is interesting, I probably do this wrong. I mean, there’s no right or wrong, but like, maybe I could be better at it. So I appreciate it. I think just everyone going through the test, you’ll learn something about yourself, you know, whatever the score doesn’t matter what the score is, at all. But so feelfirsttest.com. And then
Deirdre Breakenridge
from that, what I, what I train what I help professionals with, whether it’s them, their own professional development or with teams, is that’s the start of your roadmap, because you need to increase FEEL, and whatever you can do the exercises, that’s going to help you to be able to apply FEEL to your brand, which then lets you get FEEL out through all of your interactions and all of your channels so that you can measure FEEL, in terms of your relationships, how well are you doing out there? Simple transaction or loyalty and trust?
Jeremy Weisz
Yeah. So, um, someone read your book. This is an interesting, I guess, kay story, talk a little bit about who that person is, and what happened.
Deirdre Breakenridge
Okay, so this is my favorite case, case study, I was contacted by Richard Bistrong, who is also a colleague, a friend was a client back in the day. But Richard was in prison. When he read my book, he had violated FCPA, and anti bribery laws. And it was when he came out of prison that he contacted me. And he said, I read your book. And I would love it, if you could help me to sort of share my story, moving forward a different trajectory, and how I want to help people, and really educate them on what to do rather than what not to do when you’re in business compliance ethics, especially when you’re in sales. And I worked with him on different themes. We got him ready for getting out there to talk to the media. I worked with him on his social media. And what’s interesting about this is that I really had to face fears in a sense and step out of my own comfort zone, there was my own empathy. for him. Ethics were involved and just this passion that I had. So I was applying FEEL back then I guess I didn’t realize it. But even when, so Richard told me, you better Google me, you just better Google me, I want you to know exactly who I am. I’m going to send you the court transcripts from when I went in front of the judge and the prosecutor. And you know, it’s really interesting, because even he served five years as a cooperator for the FBI and in the UK. And when he went before the judge, even the prosecutor had recommended that he don’t that he didn’t go to prison, that he had really served for those five years helping the government. And the judge basically said, No, you can’t do what you did and not serve some time. But after I read everything, I had a really strong feeling about him. And even though I had some very well intended inner circle members who said to me, don’t touch it. What How is that going to? What are you doing? Why would you do that? Your brand, your this, your that? And I just said, No, this I really feel strongly. So I help Richard, I’m so glad that I did. We even we’ve been on stage together in a presentation and we talked about how he went from prison card to Master Card. He does a Master Card training documentary series. He is one of the top 100 minds in compliance. He works with ethical governing bodies. And he just wrote the foreword to my new book, which is, of course, Answers for Ethical Marketers.
Jeremy Weisz
I guess that’s my favorite. Right? What was the book that he read in prison? Oh,
Deirdre Breakenridge
I think I believe it was Putting the Public Back in Public Relations.
Jeremy Weisz
Did he say What? What was it about the book that struck him?
Deirdre Breakenridge
I think he saw it as a way to really share a new kind of story, the story that he wanted to move forward with, I think he knew that social media would be a part of it. However, social media is a tough landscape. And you know, you have to go about it the right way. And sometimes when things happen and you do certain things, well, are people going to be forgiving or not? That all depends. And he was very authentic and very genuine in his sharing and he worked tirelessly, tirelessly on his content, and really helped As a part of moving forward and then on social media is a good way to approach it open, transparent, and, you know,
Jeremy Weisz
what are some of the things you did with them.
Deirdre Breakenridge
So we basically we looked at, well, especially with the media, what you can talk about what you can’t talk about, right, what’s in the rearview mirror, and how to move what you learned forward. And I think that that’s really important, how to be a giver, on social media, how to connect with influencers, how to lift and support others, as you also share your own story, how to build community, around your own storytelling, but building community, so people can also help one another. And you know that that was his, you know, there’s strategy, but there’s also tactics on how you share and the right way to share through different platforms, how you share on Twitter is going to be different than how you’re sharing on Instagram, or maybe on Facebook or LinkedIn. You know, I used to say, back in the day, I still say it now, every community has a culture, and you sort of have to fit in with the culture and become a part of that community.
Jeremy Weisz
I’ll talk about my favorite case study that you have in a second. But um, you talk about connecting with influencers, what are some big mistakes you see people making? Because you’re in social media, like, oh, terrible, people should not be doing this? What are some big mistakes? And maybe I’m doing one of them. So that’s why I No, no, I
Deirdre Breakenridge
mean, I think it’s a really, it’s a good question. And everybody should step back and say, I’m making these connections. What are the ones that are the ones that are working out and the relationships you’re carving, you’re doing something right? It’s usually when you don’t know that person, you don’t understand that person, you’re not taking the time to see what they’re doing what they care about, connecting with an influencer is a great opportunity. And there’s all sorts of you know, when you look at influencers, it could be your own customers, it could be members of your social community who are ambassadors, it could be the media, it could be bloggers, it could be podcasters. And just like we used to say, back in the day with the media, you’re customizing, right? You’re building relationship, you have to do the same thing with your influencers, just because somebody, you see them out there a lot on Instagram. And you know, you can’t just expect them to share for you. How can you build a relationship with them? What’s the right approach? Why would they even want to share what you’re doing? What’s the benefit for them? How do you support one another? So these are just all important questions to ask and things to think about when you’re building a relationship?
Jeremy Weisz
Yeah, it seems to be all about the research, like really research the person or company and see where they’re coming from. And so you can customize that communication. It’s probably people, you’re saying people get in trouble when they don’t even bother doing those things.
Deirdre Breakenridge
Exactly. So I now have because I’m a podcaster. And you, right, you know that when something comes into you that is really appealing, or somebody shows an understanding, no matter how it comes in, you’re more apt to say, Oh, my gosh, I really want to have this person. on my show. I get all kinds of I’m also a blogger, I’ve been a blogger, since I want to say 2008. I get pitches all the time, I’m sure. And the ones that really show that they’re reading or paying attention, or they’re a part of the community. Those are the ones that I really pay attention to.
Jeremy Weisz
So one of my favorite case studies had to do with charcoal. You know what I’m talking about
Deirdre Breakenridge
Yes. So we that was that the sysomos that case study Christmas?
Jeremy Weisz
Yes, I think so. But I let you tell the story,
Deirdre Breakenridge
right. So I have to jog my memory. But we were working with a social media intelligence platform. And one of their clients was a charcoal company. And I think we were asking, Who is the nicest person on social media?
Jeremy Weisz
What a good question. I mean, yes. I love it.
Deirdre Breakenridge
It’s because what do we see on so especially now? I mean, my gosh, it’s such a it’s a tumultuous landscape, pandemic, the election, you know, racial injustice, whatever the issue, you see a lot of bubbling up of anger and frustration. And so back then this was this was a while ago, we said Who is the nicest person on social media, their platform was able to analyze people who don’t curse don’t use swear words who use really nice words, complimentary words who appear happy. And you know, because the platform delves into emotions, it was easy to come up with a winner. So I don’t remember the winner was from
Jeremy Weisz
Wisconsin,
Deirdre Breakenridge
Wisconsin, right? It was from Wisconsin. He’s the happiest person on social media. So we awarded him, I think, a year’s worth of charcoal. It was Christmas time. I mean, I think we did it, you know, as a joke, you know, coal in your stocking. But this was a happy, you know, to receive charcoal. But yes, that was a lot of fun.
Jeremy Weisz
I love that. You know, I just love the question of measure one, how do you measure the nicest person on social media? And sounds like you like, okay, thank you appreciate whatever appreciative words, and they were able to do that. But I just love that question. in general. Because it’s often it can be the opposite. You know? And, you know, I wanted to have you talk about the future of communication, you know, because so I was watching your talk from like, I think it was five years ago, you did in London, and you’re talking about the future of communication? And sounds like, it’d be really interesting to hear you talk about going back to that point, What’s changed? And what do you see is the future now, looking back on when you spoke in London, I mean, a lot of the stuff I felt still holds true, today of the things you’re talking about, but maybe talk about, Has anything changed from five years ago from when you were your ideas five years ago to now? Yeah, I
Deirdre Breakenridge
mean, I think things are always changing. So as I recall, with the future of communications, I did touch upon a lot of analyzing relationships. And I’m sure I must have incorporated around technology, the Internet of Things, that’s what we were talking about, then was looking at measurement. I think all of that still holds true. platforms are changing, relationships have to go deeper. Now, the field model is a part of it. Like I said, no matter where you are, you have to be more present more aware. And in the moment, that’s the other thing, this presence and awareness, and this is now in the moment, look at all the live streaming that we’re doing. Look at how video is a platform of choice for learning for the the pandemic has us all doing zoom videos with our colleagues, internally, we’re doing more even the media, you’re, you’re using platforms like stream yard, or zoom or Skype to do your media interviews. So I think a lot more being able to show up in real time. And that’s hard. That’s hard for still hard for professionals, hard for brands, because no matter what company still, and there’s a lot of industries that are regulated. So we have to take this into consideration. They want to be able to guide messaging as best as they can. And it can be in conflict with all of this live and behind the scenes and what’s going on. So I just think and also, of course, here’s the big one artificial intelligence. We weren’t, I wasn’t talking about fake news, and bots back then. And you know, everything that we can do now with marketing automation. So a lot has changed is changing and will continue to change. And we need to always be thinking about the future of communications.
Jeremy Weisz
So you feel when you think about the future of communication? Do you think of things like AI or whatever? What are your thoughts and people what they should be thinking about? Like now because I love talking to people, like you’ve been doing it for decades, because you have a different, you know, scope of what you’ve you’ve seen, you’ve seen trends, you’re looking at trends every single day. So I’m curious of what you see what people should be paying attention to going forward.
Deirdre Breakenridge
So yes, with artificial intelligence, and I wrote about this in my book, privacy, security of data, knowing when you’re actually speaking with a human or you’re interacting with a bot. So a lot of companies for customer service. It’s a helpful bot. It’s it’s parsing through your information and answering your questions. But, you know, here’s the thing, and this was actually not a part of my book. I think this was in a LinkedIn learning course, that I did on ethics. You know, there was a case study about an app that was being used for seniors. And a lot of these seniors didn’t realize that when they were giving information that they weren’t talking to a human to schedule and share. And that right there is an issue where companies have to always be transparent and open about the way that they’re sharing because there’s a trust and a bond. And you don’t want to break that. So I think these are all considerations that are going to become more focused, as AI gets more sophisticated data. And privacy is a huge issue as hackers go deeper and become more sophisticated. And how do we educate people on to safeguard their privacy? And what can companies do so that not all of that data needs to be shared or needs to be used? And after it’s used? Is it kept or is it discarded? Everything comes into play here.
Jeremy Weisz
I have First of all, Deirdre I want to thank you. I’ve two last questions. But first of all, thanks for sharing your stories, your knowledge, and I want to point people towards a few places. DeirdreBreakenridge.com they can check out more about you, in your company, you can go to FeelFirstTest.com check that out. And the WomenWorldwideShow.com. Where else should we show WomenWorldwideShow.com any other places, we should point people towards a B, to check out on our books? Or where else should we link up?
Deirdre Breakenridge
Well, thank you. So if you want to connect with me on LinkedIn, that would be awesome. And if you go to LinkedIn, you’ll also be able to access through the LinkedIn learning platform, my courses, and I’m on Twitter. So I’m @dbreakenridge, I love to answer questions there. And of course, anybody can email me [email protected], awesome.
Jeremy Weisz
You know, check out all the stuff take the test, take the FEEL First Test. two last questions Deirdre is I’m always curious, because you’ve written many books, you have a podcast, what are your favorite books? And your favorite podcasts? So what are your favorite books that that other people should check out?
My gosh, okay, so I am reading right now a book by Robert Greene, The Laws of Human Nature, I think it’s a really good book. So definitely take a look at that one. I also I just recently, and we have to, of course, keep in mind a sign of the times, I read The Law of Success by Napoleon Hill, just recently, it was on my bookshelf forever. And you know, somebody mentioned in this Oh, my gosh, I’ve had that book. So I enjoy reading books that open up my mind to human nature. And a Dr. Joe Dispenza, You Are The Placebo and Becoming Supernatural, really, really interesting. A lot are about being aware and present energy and laws of the universe. So those are some of my favorite books that I can recommend
of your kids who I know are into health related things recommended any other books that you should check out from, from a health standpoint, from a health standpoint, not no?
Deirdre Breakenridge
Silly. Really interesting, but I bet if I pinged any one of them. They would say although I do know, mice, my stepdaughter was reading. How to Not Eff Up Your life. I don’t know if that’s a health related book, but certainly
Jeremy Weisz
the actual title,
I think so I’m not sure if I’m getting the title accurately, but it was along those lines.
Also check that one out. That sounds interesting.
Oh, and my other daughter is reading something about being a badass.
I’ve seen that. Yeah, yeah. So is it by Jen Sincero hours. Health books,
Deirdre Breakenridge
but that that’s what their interests are.
Jeremy Weisz
Check those out, um, any podcasts that you enjoy that you listen to either frequently or not frequently?
Deirdre Breakenridge
Yes. So Mind Your Business. That was a good one that I used to listen to. There’s I mean, there’s a few marketing podcasts. I think it’s Marketing with Coffee. Gosh, there’s one that I listened to the moth. I don’t know what that was all about inspirational stories. So those are just some of them and I’m always, always asking people what they like where they’re listening. Not just listening, but What’s your reading? Definitely I asked that too, and what resources in general are just feeding them? And I think that’s how we can all kind of learn and grow together. Cool.
Jeremy Weisz
First, I want to be the first one to thank you check out DeirdreBreakenridge.com feelfirsttest.com her podcasts Women Worldwide Show. Thank you so much.
Deirdre Breakenridge
Thank you so much. This is a great conversation. I really appreciate the opportunity to share
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